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Dear prepaid, thank you for sparing me 2 bucks today. Please survive and hold on till 4th of June, as you can see that im BROKE now.

Haiya, why am i broke at this point of time?? Shit, me. Anyway, today was the first day of the June Holidays Academic Programme. And im telling you, i can die in a lesson each for 45mins! D: Luckily, lessons were okay for today. First lesson had MT. Maths in comp lab. And SS for like pathetically, one lesson? Actually were not supposed to be released. But due to miscommunication, ALL the dnt/art/f&ns' students left for break as if nobody's business. So, i just joined in laa. HEHEHE. Anything, one for all and all for one. :P So had a half an hour break. Left for dnt. Reen followed us to dnt room as given permission by Mr Soh. And for goodness sake, we wasted FOUR FREAKING HOURS in dnt for nothing. Mr Soh said, our material lists are not ready yet. So we got to do presentation board. Since i didnt bring my journal, i slacked at class lor. Around 3plus, they ordered Mcd. Ate, chatted. Then Hafeez came but got chased away by Mr Soh. Dont know why he didnt allow Hafeez to join us. Went homed at 5.45pm. Had lunch. Met Love at void deck at 7pm. Went home and now, im on Blogger. Hahahah. So, as you can see my blogskin's macam taik. I'll wait for some time to edit it back cause i need my friends' help. So just bear with it kay, fira sayang? (Though its already hurting my eyes, im gonna be patient.) When this kind of things occur, it makes me wanna move to Tumblr. Like dog damnshit. D:



Muhd Shazwan Johar,
I dont why i just miss you damn much. Yes, i've heard of the news spreading. To be honest, it serves you right. Serious shit. I felt satisfied. Why didnt you use your fucking damn brain? Think before you act. As simple as that. Dont tell that people dont care about you. I may not know the story well. But i did hear people talking so much about you and your attitudes. Have you ever thought and learn to appreciate how many people out there, thats willing to give you food, money and shelter? Not one, not two. Ayumi, Danish, Tik, Hadi, Mickey. You've got them. But what did you do to them in the end? Scolded them vulgarities, spit at them, hurt them. Is that how you retreat them after all that the things they have done for you? Well, if you think that way.. Then you're such a big major LOSER and HYPOCRITE. Dont think about yourself. Though you rule your own dammit down-the-drain life, remember about the feelings of people around you.

Last year, when Syariza broke up with Aan. What did you say to her when she cried?
"Jangan nangis laa. I cubet punaat you."
But last few weeks when she found out about you and your suckish attitude, she cried in class. Cried cause of you. Now, who's making who's crying? Even as i type this post for you, im crying here. Thinking of that 'old' Shazwan Johar. Remember? The last time we met at F&S, i told you.
"Kalau kau sayang aku, kau gy skolah balek."
What did you answered?
"Yelaa, tiga dot eh?"

I was happy to know that you still remember about the 'tiga dot' thingy. But at the same time, im saad. Cause i know you wont come back to school. When i broke up with Aizat and cried in class, what did you told me?
"Tiga dot is still here for you."

But know, you're no longer with us. Did you know how i felt everytime i saw the paper heart you gave me during my birthday? With the word, 'ILOVEYOU' and the 'tiam' which presents you, me and Weeza. I felt dying a little inside. I miss all the times with you. Raya outings, times we 'karaoke' in class, when you asked me for hugs and kisses, the times when you go around the class and beg for money like nobody's business. HAHA. I wont forget all those treasured moments. I cant bear to think anymore, what we went through since the day i knew you. Cause the more i reminiscence, the more tears will flow here. Im so speechless. How bad you've disappoint me. I dont know if i cant put all this behind. I dont want to lose you as a friend, as our 'tiga dot'. Without you, 4N3 is nothing. I remember during sec3 camp. You, Mickey and the rest bonded the class. You made us cheered and built enthusiasm in ourself. I saw it with my eyes. It was you who made us sanNsan. Thankyou so much.

I'll pray for you, Shazwan. After you've been released, i hope you'll move on with life. Turn over a new leaf. Change. Change into a better person. You're smart. You've got brains. Dont put it to waste. And dont forget me. Or atleast, dont forget 'tiga dot'. Though you might have alot more friends out there to remember. You'll get it through 'inside' there. Pray to God and believe in Him. Whatever it is, i still care for you like my own part of family. We might not be close, we might not know everything about each other or i might not be anybody to you. But, i just want to say this; I love you, Shazwan.
Take care and best of luck in life.

With love,
FEERA.

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