memories from beginning.



remember the first time we went to the library? that letter. first, i didnt get it what you meant. till you explained to me. i was shocked. didnt expect you to like me and asked for stead in the nick of time. when i rejected you, i wanted time. time to forget about satria. then anna and emy came to meet me one day. told me everything about your past. i was shocked with the fact. your past with amirah, you and TJR. i didnt believe, but they were my bestfriends. of course i trust them. i wanted to avoid you but everything was too late. i fell in love with you, no one knew that. just me and myself. remember, went we watch kompang competition. in the bus otw homed, you held me hands. i swear i was nervous. but that was went i realised, i really do loved you. then on v'day, i decided that we became ttm first as i was still not ready for a r/s. but the fact was, im too afraid that anna and emy would scold me if i were to accept you. since the day we became ttm, i did many things to make you prove your love. remember i told you to buy for me famous amos. i didnt mean it. but you did buy for me. then remember when you did a 'love bite' at my hand? that was my first love bite, actually. hahhaa! remember when you pulled me and kissed me ? i was like so angry and pissed with you. like hello? im not your gf yet, please respect me. at least, ask permission laa. haiyaaa. on april's fool, i pranked on you. remember? you were soo angry that you hurt your fist. im sooo soooooo sorry about that. but you shouldnt believe me! haha. 18 apr 2009. your brother's birthday. it was the first time i met you parents. scary enough but i made it through. i still remember when you tompang me and we went cycled around ECP. and we sat together, watching sunset. it was the first time i met ashikin. she's damn cute. i remembered i had fun playing with her. when it was time for me to leave, she was didnt want me to go. i still remember her sad face. then i was like, "laen kali, kte maen lagy k?" then, i remembered. you asked me for stead again. but i rejected you again. im so sorry for putting you down. i didnt meant to.. then, the next day i had high fever. i was absent from school. i remembered when you sanggop skipped school, just to accompany me to polyclinic. i really really appreciate it. while we were on the way to clinic, your friend called. after you sent me homed, you went to meet your friends, i still remember. my heart was uneasy. i texted you but you didnt replied. later on, you told me that you went for a riot. and the police caught you. one of your friend, sabotaged you. i was so sad. scared too, of losing you. the next day, the police came to your school. you told me everything when you were in the police station. i felt unsecured. i felt a fear in my heart. after that day, you went out from TJR. it was hard to meet you since. you cant go out often. it makes me miss you so much. but your mum was understanding. she let us meet for awhile. that was nice of her. then i remember, that day. i told you i didnt want to accept you. it was supposed to be a prank. you said i was a promise-breaker. you still scold me vulgarities. i was so pissed that i didnt text you the whole day. that night, i went to 'ceramah'. you called my homed. you asked my mum where i was. then you went to meet me at the place i went 'ceramah'. but i avoided you, i didnt talked to you. didnt even looked at you. then after talking things out, we were okay back. after many ups and downs, at last. we were together on the 24th may 2009. i didnt break my promise, did i? there were good times. we went bugis and queenstown during our 2nd month, bought the same pair of watch. then remember, there was one time. we were otw to my block, my slippers broke? you went 'block shopping' and get me a slipper. though i already threw it, but i still remember that funny incident. there were bad times too. when i accidentally hit my THICK maths textbook and your lips were bleeding badly. i felt so guilty. when we always fight about your cigarettes. when you found out i texted amin, you were like so mad at me. and i were mad at you as you didnt believe we were just friends and nothing more. i hate when you were always sarcastic about him. it stabbed my heart cos he's my favourite ex. hmm, memories i treasure though. then every time when you were angry with me, i wanted to hold your hand. but you would put force to your fist so i cant hold you. after awhile, then you gave up. haha. that was one of the sweet things i could remember. during june holidays, i went genting, we talked otp till 3am. i could see you didnt want me to go . you even texted me when i was in genting to tell how much you missed me. it made me eager to come back s'pore. after a few months, came fasting month. and hari raya. i still remember, you took out my ring and kinda 'proposed' me while we were walking during jln raya. so sweet of you. (: i had fun with you. but after that, didnt you realise? we were drifting apart. yes, i complained alot that night. the biggest fight we ever had. im sorry, i dared you. but i wanted to see how far you would defend our r\s. but to my biggest shock.

24052009-18112009.
10 months of love, 6 months of r/s.

eventhough you've brought dark clouds in my life,
will learn to love again.
eventhough you've broke my heart to pieces,
i will learn to love again.
eventhough you've made my world fall apart,
i will learn to love again.
evethough you've left me in the rain,
i will learn to love again.
eventhough i need to survive this pain,
i will learn to love again.
and yes, i did.